— Sounds True Presents —

Trauma Skills Summit.

August 17–26 2020

— Sounds True Presents —

Trauma Skills Summit.

August 17–26 2020

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— Sounds True Presents —

Trauma Skills Summit.

August 17–26 2020

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— Sounds True Presents —

Trauma Skills Summit.

August 17–26 2020

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Day 3

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Transmuting Trauma and Oppression: Embracing Our Wholeselves

traci ishigo, MSW
Therapist, yoga and meditation teacher, organizer

Embracing our intersecting identities is essential in the ongoing process of trauma healing, especially for individuals with multiple marginalized experiences. As a queer, nonbinary therapist of color who actively engages in community organizing, traci ishigo will share personal anecdotes and discuss themes of how creative action, solidarity, and transformative justice can support a sense of wholeness, hope, and healing—particularly around trauma that is intergenerational and perpetuated by the state.

Session Highlights:

  • Why an intersectional and systemic perspective matters in your process of finding healing, wholeness, and empowerment
  • The risks of and threats to creating safety and trauma healing for individuals and communities with intersecting marginalized experiences
  • A grounding meditation and creative reflection to invite remembrance and reconnection with your values, resourcefulness, and purpose
traci ishigo, MSW

traci ishigo, MSW

traci ishigo is a politicized therapist, trauma-informed yoga and meditation teacher, and creative community organizer. As a queer, nonbinary femme, survivor, Japanese American, Buddhist, and associate clinical social worker, ishigo is committed to deepening the sense of interconnectedness in healing and living with dignity. Her approach to intergenerational and intercommunal healing includes cofounding Vigilant Love, which creates spaces for connection and grassroots movements to protect the safety and justice of communities impacted by Islamophobia in the greater Los Angeles area. Through her private practice called Webs of Well-Being, ishigo provides individual and couples psychotherapy; trauma-informed yoga and meditation; and politicized, healing-centered consulting with community-based organizations. ishigo has completed 200-hour yoga teacher training, along with additional trauma-informed yoga trainings with Zabie Yamasaki and Hala Khouri, and she has shared trauma-informed yoga and meditation throughout various communities in Los Angeles. She earned a master’s in social work from the University of Southern California, where she specialized in studying adults, mental health, trauma, and wellness.

Relationship Trauma

Rob Fisher, MFT
Therapist, Hakomi trainer, professor, author

One of the most common causes of trauma is generated by issues in our intimate, family, friendship, and work relationships. Classical symptoms of PTSD—flashbacks, emotional flooding, rumination, sleep disturbances, and startle responses—are often present, intense, and inescapable. In this session, Rob Fisher explores the causes and effects of relationship trauma, along with practical tools for addressing the symptoms and underlying issues involved from a mindfulness-based, somatic perspective.

Session Highlights:

  • Discovering the similarities between relationship trauma and PTSD
  • Exploring the causes of relationship trauma, both developmentally and from shock
  • Learning how to repair relationship ruptures that can lead to traumatic reactions
  • Preventing relationship trauma by understanding the tender places in your own relationships
Rob Fisher, MFT

Rob Fisher, MFT

Rob Fisher is the author of Experiential Psychotherapy with Couples: A Guide for the Creative Pragmatist and a number of book chapters and articles published internationally on couples therapy and the psychodynamic use of mindfulness. He is also the founder of Mindfulness-Centered Couples Therapy. An advocate of the use of mindfulness and present experience in psychotherapy, he is an adjunct professor at JFK University. As the codeveloper of the Mindfulness and Compassion in Psychotherapy Certificate Program at California Institute of Integral Studies, he has brought together many of the leaders in the realms of mindfulness and psychotherapy in one of the only programs in the US that not only teaches the skills of psychotherapy but helps participants develop their internal state as well. He is a speaker at conferences and workshops around the country such as CAMFT, USABP, Psychotherapy Networker, the Couples Conference, and the Relationship Council where he presents as a peer, master, or keynote speaker. Teaching internationally, he is a Hakomi Mindfulness-Based Experiential Psychotherapy trainer and a director of the Hakomi Institute of California and the Hakomi Institute of China. For more information regarding his workshops and trainings, please visit robfishermft.com/workshops-and-trainings.

Inspired by today’s presentations?
Share your insights below.

  • Holly says:

    I LOVE TRACI!!! Her energy is so balanced and calming. She has explained so simply something that is so complex. I agree with her completely.. She is talking about me and everyone else in this world! I have tried for years to put my thoughts and feelings into words and she has done this for me in this session. Thank you so much!!!

  • Wendy says:

    I loved this talk. The speaker lived & breathed the subject of trauma with every word & breath in a way that was compassionate,helpful & delightful!

  • Jan L says:

    Very inspiring for me to listen to all that Rob said during this session. I am grateful & will be implementing these practices. Throughout my marriage I have tried & done most of these, but wounds caused me to harden & stop trying (even though my spouse has been putting in efforts lately, I have not been meeting him half way it seems upon reflexion). After this inspiring talk. from Rob, I think it’s time to really put these compassionate concepts into practice & not be so closed down within my relationship with my husband. The challenge is not taking things personally & trying to remain aware that he has wounds the same as I do. I feel I want extend the extra efforts to aid in his comfort & healing … as I would want him to extend kindness & compassion to me & we can enrich or lives together rather than just coping with each other in this relationship.

  • saskia says:

    loved Traci’s contribution. Thank you!!! My body relaxed, felt huge relieve. I so often miss listening to (spiritual) teachers and therapists the existence of “systemic oppression”.

  • Monika says:

    I loved to listen to Rob Fischer. This guy is hillarious and has a great sense of humour . Just listening to him calms my nerves..

    Will check out his homepage for more interesting and fun stuff:)

  • Emma says:

    Emma
    Rob Fisher is a treasure, Such a delightful personality and his approach is so generous and warm. His presentation was a joy to watch, easy to absorb and very informative. Thank you

  • Elite chan says:

    Inspired by Traci ‘s speech . She had stimulated me to think more about political trauma, racism n sexism .

  • Shalini says:

    These were generous, warm and resonating talks. Thank you to Traci and Rob.

  • Chandana says:

    As before, many thanks to Sounds True team for bringing these talks to us to broaden our understanding of the world.

  • Sus says:

    Thank you for providing this 10 day place to go during this time. Two things resonated for me in Rob’s presentation. Intellectually, I know about my childhood traumatic events. I have talked about it & worked to understand it in various settings for 30+ years. When he invited me to hold one hurt tenderly, tell it that I’m here, and then to ask it to share back… I tapped into answers that were right there. It told me just how scared it was, that it was not good, and that it was not worthy of having needs met. I learned to ignore needs as I survived my childhood. So, I’m curious about what more I can learn by providing more time for compassion to simply listen to that old pain that never was taken care of in my childhood and also just to listen to my present needs as an adult since my undeveloped ability for self-care is spotty. Second, I was impressed with the last story and how appropriate it is for us as a country as we think about ways that we can be generous with others who need help during this difficult time. In the context of this presentation, it starts with those who are closest to us. Thank you all so much! Much appreciation!

  • Sharon Cassar NP-PHC-AANP says:

    I have been touched, educated and empowered.
    Kudos

  • Tathiana says:

    Wow! What amazing presentations! For me, the second, about Relationship Traumas was so important. I learned so much, I wish I could have learned it all before…
    Thank you a lot!

  • Carol says:

    Rob Has a gentle and warm manner.

  • sonia sanchez says:

    Thank you this 3 days have been amazing can’t wait for tomorrow’s presenters.

  • Lois says:

    Awesome! Fantastic! Thank you Dr. Rob Fisher, I will practice more Meditation practice in my Close relationships. Trusting is major issue because past childhood and partner trauma in relationships.

  • Juanita says:

    Loved the relationship trauma session. It was so healing to listen and learn. Wish to incorporate the Dr. Principles.

  • Marlene says:

    Really enjoyed rob fisher so many do not see or understand relationship trauma Many view trauma as sexual or violence. Etc
    But relationship trauma encompasses all of the trauma so very wise

  • Sara Morgan says:

    Hi, my name is Sara and I just wanted to say thank you so much for having Rob Fisher, MFT as one of your presenters. His presentation really resonated with me, having experienced a sample of both traumas in my last relationship. I’m still in the healing process, and I feel as though his presentation was such a big help in really understanding what I went they, as well as the impacts that it had on me. Thanks again!

  • ET Roodenburg says:

    Thank you so much for making this available worldwide! I’m Tammy, joining from the Netherlands. Even though I,m very gratefull fot all this helpfull information, I have some thoughts I would like to share. Being a fibromyalgia/CVS? ME sufferer myself for years, with a mother who had the same chronic ilness and a sister who did too until her suicide in 2014, I have always felt that if I would ever find a way to heal myself from this, I would share this with everyone! Since these kinds of chronic illnesses are affecting the lives of millions globaly, and the costs society makes for therapies, operations, medical and psychological consults en non helping farmaceuticals are sky high, shouldnt we be making this knowledge and working therapy`s available to anyone anywhere? Especialy for those who (many times because of their chronic illness unimployed and abandoned by most of there friends and loved ones) cannot affort or because of the country they live in cannot acces any help?
    In my country they still say; Ooh, it`s just between the ears ore due to childhood psychologic trauma but don`t know what I mean when I say, YES, it`s between the ears, but actualy and more specific in the brains limbic system. I see to many people here losing jobs, loved ones, income, connection, social life, quality of life and even their lives over this……
    Hopefull becuase of the confirmation of what I already figured out but still a little desperate and frustrated about all those “millions Missing”.
    Love Tammy

  • Jeanne says:

    Rob, I have been married for 43 years and have experienced the ebb and flow of many stages of love. This is one of the most useful presentations I have ever heard. Thank you.

  • Linda Bates says:

    Wonderful thank you thank you thank you. So helpful. For everyone.

  • aekyung says:

    Waking up the world Day3!
    Partner, friends, family and even politics, so all relationships are hard. Mind practice is so valuable. Loving learning more wisdom and making more heavenly space in my heart everyday for me and we🌿
    Thank you and looking forward tmrw’s session.

  • Judith Ann Donaldson says:

    Traci’s gentleness and wisdom from her life’s journey offered me much food for thought in my relationships with others.
    Rob’s experiences and understanding of relationship trauma is wonderfully helpful in my own life as well as with working with clients.
    Many thanks to them both.
    Judith Ann (Vancouver, Canada)

  • Kenya Murphy says:

    this was very helpful in my own personal relationship

  • William Harrison says:

    I think there is racism in every race right now and it’s gotten worse

  • Mary says:

    Traci expanded my awareness and her soft, gentle nature makes it all feel possible to bridge these divisions.

    The Five Steps of Conscious Repair in relationships is a practical, mindful and tender approach for everyday relationships, as well as during critical repair times. I valued this statement….”People come to therapy to get what’s broken blessed.”

  • Vicki says:

    DV relationships do need to be recognised as where one person simply doesn’t care if they kill the other in order to be right. In this place, there does need to be blame or recognition of a fatal lack of care.

    • Nat says:

      I was thinking the exact same thing! I’d hoped this might’ve been more of a focus of the presentation as it’s such a prevalent and universal issue that plagues relationships.

  • Omodele says:

    Inspiring presentation. Very profound but so simply presented. Touches the hearts and the trauma very deeply. The format shared is very useful. Thank you Tracie.

  • Lou Anne says:

    Topics just gets better!

  • Bess says:

    Loved the chopsticks, perfect metaphore

  • Lise Peterson says:

    Fabulous! Learned alot…….about/for myself and to share with others. Thank you!

  • Pauline says:

    another wonderful day of listening to both speakers. i really enjoyed mindfulness with Rob

  • June Stone says:

    Thank you Rob for this insightful talk. I love the distinctions of shock trauma and attachment trauma. You offer very practical and doable actions and I will happily turn this into a good relationship guide.

  • John Kelsey says:

    I am really pleased that the site is so easy to navigate. No doubt that the material being presented is the most up-to-date there is.

  • lancaster patricia says:

    Rob Fisher presentation relaxed me just listening to him. Mindful practice in action, I learned so much grounded, useful and genuinely kind therapy tools to help my clients. Thank you so much for having him on this program. The quote from Hillman is one of the truest analogies I have ever heard about why we go to therapy. Much appreciation and thanks for today.

  • Mary Lowe says:

    Mr. Fischer very difficult to hear as his voice kept dropping.

  • Amy says:

    Each presentation today was uplifting and informative. I’m going to look into VigilantLove and I’m going to practice the 5 steps of Conscious Repair. Thank you to Sounds True for this third day of addressing trauma. We can heal ourselves and the world.

  • Ashly says:

    Fisher gave such a fantastic, thorough, clear, and informative lecture! Understanding the depth and variation of attachment trauma was insightful. So many occur in small ways that “push our buttons” without us being aware of it. The somatic approach to these wounds was very helpful, particularly at this time of attachment trauma in my own marriage.

  • Alexandra says:

    Rob Fisher’s talk helped me a lot to understand how some of my childhood traumas affected my marriages!
    I want to say thank you to him for putting in understandable words something that is quite complicated to understand sometimes, although Relationship Trauma is quite common, goes so deep into our roots that is not so easy to identify and rationalize. Jeffrey Rutstein’s questions contributed a lot to bring even more information to it. Thank you!

  • Susan says:

    Loved what was said. Some very interesting insights.Will be buying Rob’s book. Shame about the poor sound quality!

  • Serious says:

    Why does everyone only acknowledge certain groups. White people also suffer from racism, especially now.
    I do not want to deny people’s experience. I as a white/Chinese mixed race person designated the “Chinese” grouping from South Africa have experienced racism from many but especially the black majority that is oppressing all non-black people in my country. Africa is a mess because of the native race dictatorships but the world stays silent. Everyone has their own experience that is being denied. No one wants to acknowledge the inflow of illegal immigrants to Europe, the human rights violations that non-Western countries are inflicting on the minority groups ranging from China to India to Malaysia to South America because people are so united in a racist anti-white mentality. It is because of this united front in anti/white/Western sentiment that billions are unheard and unseen.
    I don’t know why oppression of certain groups is acceptable and why does everyone demand that their group be acknowledged. There are so many different groups. I have heard many stories from those living in the Middle East where slavery is still alive where Arabs are openly enslaving black people and women etc and no one says anything. Can everyone stop being down on her. She is one person. She can’t speak for everyone. I find is disturbing that whenever we have any talks about impression it is only black people. There are millions of people suffering from all races and creeds and both men and women. I am actually shocked because it is only black people’s experiences that are seen and in Africa black people are oppressing all races as well as enslaving one another and no one speaks of that oppression. No one speaks of the blatant oppression and slavery of people in the Middle East.

    To all that want to complain about TRaci. Think about this: “She is doing something and you aren’t. ANd unlike the BLM movement she doesn’t call for destruction and anti-white sentiment”

    • AJ says:

      Dear Serious,
      I appreciate your courage to share your experience and to remind/invite us all to recognize the suffering that is more extensive and more complex than what we tend to be aware of, and to extend our attention and compassion to include all suffering in this complex web of intergenerational trauma.
      It’s a daunting prospect, but it does seem essential to real and lasting change.

    • Paul Cameron says:

      Dear serious,
      You can’t be serious. It is obvious that you have been raised and embraced the ideology of white supremacy. White people “suffer” from their own creation. Some want to cry victim (like yourself) while being deliberately obtuse and still maintain institutionalized racism is crazy. Yet, that is present day America. First off, HISTORICAL TRAUMA and the EPIGENETICS to support it are real. “White” people stole the land from Indigenous people “Native Americans” {REAL Americans) and Mexicans. So called “White” people through forced labor of enslaved Africans built their wealth and this country. BLM is not calling for anti-white sentiment or said destruction. The fear you have of being treated as you have treated others is what helps maintain White supremacy. You are not brave, however you are an insecure BIGOT and possible racist.

  • Christine says:

    Dear Jeffery and the Sound True Team,
    Thank you so much for putting together this brilliant summit.
    As practitioner of mindfulness, I found Rob Fisher’s episode (Day 3) on Relationship Trauma so insightful and engaging. I enjoyed listening to the Benefits of Blame and how to use the Generous cycle more often in my life. The Chinese Heaven and Hell story was a delightful end to this wonderful hour.
    Thank you and in peace

    • kathryn says:

      I agree – I found him to be very insightful – so much content for one hour of time – loved the Heaven and Hell story!!!

  • Sue says:

    Amazing presentation Traci. You worded so well something that many are finding hard to grasp. Thank you 🙂

  • elisabeth says:

    Sorry, I did not enjoy Traci Ishigo´s presentation at all. “Go to your breathing, be aware of thoughts and feelings ” is too little trauma skills for too much activism. It does not fit to the incredibly high level of the first 4 presentations at all.

    • Shilpa says:

      Even the other presentation of the day was too simplistic to tackle PTSD from relationship breaks, compared to the first 4 presentations.

    • APS says:

      Also IMO, her voice is extremely nasal, and combined with that sort of nouveau valley girl type accent and the added vocal fry, it was hard to get to the end of her talk. Like nails on a chalkboard. I’m sorry to criticize something personal, especially since she comes across as a wonderful person, but it does unfortunately impact the listener experience.

      And most of what she covered are very basic. I didn’t really learn anything new. The one thing I hadn’t heard of, namely “politicised therapist,” “politicized analysis” and so forth, she didn’t explain.

      • Andy says:

        APS, I believe your comment says more about you than it does about traci ishigo. I understand traci’s voice impacts your listener experience. Extrapolating your personal taste or distaste to “the listener” generally is a mistake.

      • APS says:

        Traci, I came back to this page to say that writing about your voice was a mistake, and found that there’s a comment after mine. Nonetheless…

        What I wrote was unkind, and I’m sorry.

      • Ellie says:

        In agreement with Andy. It’s not enough to say sorry for writing or speaking something disrespectful and unprofessional. Next time, before saying sorry, just don’t say it APS – that’s a “very basic” practice of respect. You were not forced to watch this. I hope you take time to reflect on your internalized superiority that made you feel entitled to comment like this – the presenter does a great job at speaking about this. Too bad it’s not the “right” voice for you. Best wishes on your healing APS.

        • APS says:

          Ellie, I’m not sure what you hoped to accomplish with your comment. First, it needlessly re-escalates a situation that has been de-escalated. It’s always a good idea not to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

          Second, your comment is rather condescending and patronizing. Being human means making mistakes. Sometimes we say things in the moment that may not be ideal. And yes, that includes even you, and even when you know it in a “very basic” sense cognitively. The best one can hope for is the ability to recognize, acknowledge, and apologize when the need arises. Lecturing someone “to just don’t do it” from a high perch as if she is a 2-year old is sanctimonious. It should be obvious that someone who voluntarily and without prompt recognized, acknowledged and apologized is capable of drawing such a rudimentary conclusion on her own. I’m sorry that my apology was not enough for you. Unfortunately it’s all the recourse available.

          Third, you’ve made quite a lot of (wrong) assumptions, and you know what they say about making assumptions…

          Based on the charge to your comment, it can be surmised that you’ve built up the offense into something much bigger than it really is, and run with it. I understand that you think that I’ve perpetrated an attack on one of traci’s identities. My criticism of her voice, which I sincerely regret, was only about her, not about her lesbianism, her ancestral origin/race, her sex, or anything else. It was poor judgment, not an “-ism.”

          You “hope you [I] take time to reflect on your [my] internalized superiority that made you [me] feel entitled to comment like this.” Rich, without knowing anything at all about me. You go on to explain that traci talks about this. Where she mentions internalized superiority, she speaks of being a male and white, and I could read the subtext throughout your comment that your assumption was that I was a white man. Let me clarify for you: I am a dark skinned analytical and radical feminist woman and immigrant who has multiple layers of childhood developmental trauma. I’m not trying to to take cover in my identities or claiming that having these other identities nullifies one from being bigoted or biased; just saying that sometimes people forget that an insult to an individual is not always automatically an insult to a group identity. It can also be coincidental that the individual happens to be part of certain oppressed groups.

          You say I was not forced to watch this. That is like my saying that you were not forced to read my comment. I’ll clarify further. Among my other traumas, the racial component of my childhood traumas was severe enough to give me a functional (psychogenic) neurological oromotor disorder that causes muscle spasms in my mouth that damages my ability to speak spontaneously. Suffice it to say that it has destroyed my life. (Just want to add that sexism gets much less attention than racism, and can be even more brutal as it’s carried out within what ought to be the safe haven of family, even in the most progressive of households). So it was with hope and excitement that I approached traci’s presentation, eager to learn information and skills specific to living under the crushing weight of the aftereffects of childhood racial trauma that is exacerbated by continuing to live in a macrocosm of that initial environment. Perhaps my expectation was too high for a one-hour presentation, but my expectation had been set by the previous speakers. Instead, IMO, the presentation was at the level of a college student’s. [This next part I say only to explain, not excuse my behavior:] The voice did bother me, but I forced myself to get to the end of the talk hoping above hopes that higher level content would be just around the corner. When I got to the end and there was no payoff, I felt that I had put up with something unpleasant for no reason at all, that I hadn’t just wasted my time, but aggravated myself in the process. Again, not excusing myself. When I left the comment, I should have kept my feedback to just critique of the content. I take full responsibility for any hurt I caused traci. That part was not my intention, and afterwards, I did a metta meditation for Traci before posting my apology.

          If you truly cared about my healing, Ellie, you
          wouldn’t have posted such an incendiary comment, especially after I had already waved a white flag. You’ve attacked my personhood and my intentions with scant evidence. I wasn’t going to reply to your comment at all, because I didn’t want to dignify it with a response, but standing up for myself is one way I show up for me. And in doing so, I have had to include details about myself I don’t care to share.

          So before giving me advice, perhaps you should take your own.

          And to Andy: I do sincerely applaud your instinct to stand up for your fellow human. I mean that.

          But (without reference to traci at all) your statement that “Extrapolating your personal taste or distaste to “the listener” generally is a mistake” is only your opinion, and I believe, wrong.

          The general wisdom on this is that people think that they’re alone in their thinking, feelings, ideas, preferences, and so forth and keep things to themselves. It’s in others sharing their stories and internal happenings that people find they are not so “weird” and different and that there are many others like them. In the same way, I’m not an alien who fell off another galaxy, and as a result think things that no one else does. I can guarantee you that there are others like me.

  • TOGIA LANEFALE says:

    Both were awesome, it just gets better!

  • Carol Ashlee says:

    Traci,
    Your words of wisdom are so inspiring.

    I related to you speaking of children that will suffer attachment trauma when separated from parents at boarders.

    It brought tears to my eyes.
    I suffer attachment trauma from my childhood.
    It’s difficult to live life.

  • Prili says:

    I’m wondering why this event does not invite Resmaa Menakem as one of the speakers? Because we need his wisdom on racial trauma at this current moment

  • Carol Daw says:

    Thank you feeling inspired and hopeful.

  • Lori says:

    Thank you Traci, again, a very insightful message.
    I’m deeply disturbed by the ‘ism’ emegence in these days.
    I’m a female, white, 56 year old, survivor of 5 years of sexual abuse in childhood, immigrant to New Zealand, and have experienced first hand ‘isms’ that i would never believe existed.
    I challenged my own beliefs and values and was shocked to reveal that there are deep rooted ‘isms’ in my being.
    I’m motivated to explore their origins, and begin to unravel and challenge them both for me and my community.

  • Greta says:

    I wish the speakers recognized indigenous people equally….

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