with Michael A. Singer
with Michael A. Singer
with Michael A. Singer
Register for Michael A. Singer's online course, Living from a Place of Surrender, to learn:
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People with BPD are filled with negative thoughts that are hard to control
I just today had a client who acted very disrespectfully and normally I would turned that behaviour in y mind a 1000 times, repeated what I think of, etc.- instead I focused on letting it go, letting actually this client go and told myself to instead focus on the next nice client I will surely have.
Resentment of someone
This is a pretty minor experience, but back in the mid nineties I was working as a busboy in a fancy restaurant where the waiters made hundreds of dollars a night. The only way to get a waiter job there was to start as a busboy and work into the waiter position over time. Since this waiter job was so lucrative, waiters rarely left so it was often many years between openings. However even the busser wages were better than waiter wages at most other restaurants so it seemed worth the wait. Anyway, after only a year, one of the waiters announced they were leaving. I had been busting my butt as a busser and felt I had earned the promotion. I went to my manager and basically gave him an ultimatum that if he did not promote me, I would take a waiter job at another restaurant. His response was to let me know that he would not be promoting me this time and sat me down and outlined all of the things that I needed to improve upon if I wanted the next opening. This made me quite angry, so I quit. I had an interview with the other restaurant later that day. Interestingly, after that interview, I just had a feeling that I would not be hired, and I realised that my manager had been right about all the things I needed to change. In that moment of acceptance of a difficult truth, I suddenly felt all my worry, anxiety and anger dissipate and I was left with a deeply peaceful and present feeling. The feeling lasted the entire rest of the day. It was a seemingly unshakable peace. It was so wonderful that here I am remembering it 25 years later with vivid clarity. Of course that peace was not lasting. When I woke up the next morning and learned I had indeed been hired to be a waiter at a slightly lesser restaurant, I was back to my old resisting self. Ten years later when I read the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, he said that anything your surrender to fully will get you to that state of peace. Because of that experience, I knew exactly what he meant. I now look forward to putting Michael’s techniques into practice, hoping that the end result will be that lasting peace he describes.
I realize that a lot of the problems that I have are based on fears and limiting beliefs. For example, I am afraid of what others might think of me and therefore I don’t share everything with them or I don’t take certain decisions in my life.
I have recently been grieving the end of a very short term relationship, where I had felt my heart bursting with love for the first time in a really long time, after being in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship/marriage for 31 years.. I felt like I was able to let go rather quickly, and accept what. knew was not the right intimate partner for me with the hope that this lovely man could still be a good friend.
I was away on holidays and a bit high from a manic episode from not sleeping properly and someone else I really liked that I met and made a potential future connection with made me think I had let go but I was really just transferring my need to someone else. My neediness led me to keep sharing and being in touch too much with him and then he said he did not want any more contact.
The grief then became much more intense as it was effectively as if he were dead to me now and that I was not forgiven for my behaviour and it was really hard not to beat myself up for my mistakes.
Then did a breath workshop where I was among like minded people and the realisation that I wanted to meet someone like minded/spiritually conscious as a partner (and another man I was attracted to) made me think I had moved on) but I hadn’t and the grief kept surfacing. I was trying to fill my need with a good partner. That’s when I realised as in Michaels video that I needed to look at the underlying issue which I quickly identified as being a need give myself more love and that this process of letting go was going to be an ongoing one, and also identified that the level of grief warranted getting some professional help.
Although it has been a heart wrenching experience it has also been an incredible one, filled with the realisation that everything that I have learned so far has led me to where I am right now and the wonderful opportunities that are becoming more and more evident.
I can see that I hold myself back from accomplishing, by reminding myself of past and present obstacles that hinder my growth in my relationships,, business , andlife accomplishments. I can only imagine by letting go what amazing thing that can happen.
Feeling anxiety over initiating a date, observing this as a “subject” and moving it to an “object” by treating the entire occasion just as an experience. I can’t control how it will go, I have no idea, but what I can control is the idea that this is another life experience and regardless of what occurs I will learn from it. The freedom this created for me was incredible, and it also created an excitement as well instead of anxiety or worry. All of this created an energy that felt and feels awesome!
I absolutely see how my mind going around in circles and being angry and upset about how I think someone “should be” or all sorts of “should be’s” are driving me crazy. I found Michael’s statement that there are two problems to be absolutely correct. It’s not all in my head, there are problems out there, but those concerns are easier to address if I’m not tying myself up in knots
100 % agreed! Every time that I have a “problem “ in front of me and I decided that it is not a problem and just change my attitude “magically “ its not a problem anymore… so who decided what is what? …
I learned a lot from the book untethered soul. I read it very slowly and applied every technique. I even recommended it to friends.
But I couldn’t quite figure out:
What should be the balance between focussing on being happy from within vs. working hard and reaching goals? What is the reason to follow these career/societal/personal goals if we can unlock the same feelings of enjoyment from within without accomplishing the goals?
My understanding is that happiness should not be DEFINED by these accomplishments, but rather BE THE FUEL to help achieve them! The point of accomplishing goals isn’t to unlock the feelings in you, but to use/development your natural talents and gifts to help inspire and uplift others. The happiness/joy/love you unlock from discovering your true higher self will drive you to hit those personal goals so you can be a gift to the world around you. Hope this helps!
Thats a great answer to a good question, thanks Kevin.
I was a college debater and had a good record but never won a national tournament. And I felt bad about that — I felt I was a failure or at least not a success. It bothered me. So I decided whenever I had that thought — I was not a success as a college debater– I would simply put it in a box in my mind. I wouldn’t argue with myself — yes I was, etc. — I just would acknowledge it and step around it in my mind. Yes, I wouldn’t so much put it in a box and just step around it and not give it any energy – yea or nay. And after a while — probably a few years — I realized I didn’t feel bad about my record as a college debater any more. I looked at it and realized I learned a lot and it has benefitted me even though I had never won a national tournament. But this experience of coming to it in my mind and just stepping around it, as if I were hiking in the woods and it was on the path, helped me let go of that troubling thought.
Letting go is scary. Trying to control feels more like you are doing something. Yet it doesn’t help reaching our goals.
I’m just about finished with The Untethered Soul and it was frightening how accurately it depicted the problems inside, which I came to realize are all self inflicted due to my mind. I constantly dwelled on the past and would worry about the future. I’d replay events in my past relationship over and over, wishing that I acted differently in certain situations or said something else in another and .you just end up going down a rabbit hole that is toxic to your well being.
Yes, I see that I create my problems in my own mind! :o. Argh! I am so glad that I now know that, even if I haven’t figured out totally what to do…. When I read the phrase once “Don’t believe everything you think.” I was like uh, what!? Wow! I also read a quote something like “Nothing can hurt me but my own thoughts.” The thing that I need the most help with is when it seems others push my buttons… Thank you, Michael, please keep the teaching videos coming! My love to you and everyone! 🙂
My life is so trouble-free but when my mind starts to chatter it finds problems everywhere. I’m sure this is why I’ve had thirty years of high blood pressure. Hundreds of little fears of things not going right, being misunderstood, disappointing someone, being judged. I have the capacity to make a beautiful life into something fraught with anxiety and sadness, and now, on reflection, I realise that I also have the capacity to have a beautiful life AND a beautiful mind. It’s a no-brainer! 🙂
yes I had this recently at a trans session. I told her not to want to go along with all the trauma moments (where she wanted to take me along with my inner child) I stopped her and indicated that I have already done enough here and I felt that this is not good for the vibration at all of my cells. and so I want to go to the now and to positive feelings with all that is now. Thanks you Michael, this was exactly what I wanted to hear right now.
Just while I was listening to this , I thought about how I always feel that I have something to prove. Especially to those people in my life where I feel I have embarrassed myself or disappointed them or when people hold opinions of me that are unfavorable. The pervasiveness and the futility of this sorta came into stark focus just now. What if I let go of what people thought of me?
Thank you Michael for the mini course and The Unthetered Soul. I am a senior, retired 20 yrs divorced, and much has changed in past 2 years. My sons and daughter are struggling and i went jnto depression at age 68. I have been working hard but just fell recently and now have major issues with my right arm. Letting go of my past is essential. I have made many bad decisions in a loveless marriage, then unable to truly love in others. I am hard on myself and need to learn to let. This is essential I know. I have been successful with some issues but many more in closet. My closet.
Every day is a struggle but I WILL forge ahead and look forward to working with you.
I too like emotional illness as opposed to mental. Peace and love to all who struggle. Blessings
Dear Benny,
Just felt like congratulating you on taking ownership of your emotional issues and starting the healing process.
Wish you the best of luck.
Kind regards,
Lars Haaber, Denmark
Thank you! Peace, love and hugs to you, Benny! Julie. 🙂
Don’t we (I) in ou sixties wish we had these courses, books podcasts when we were a lot younger than enlightenment may marvelled us to avoid so many mistakes a nd emotional probkens, mine being anxiety antidepressant too.
Let’s hope this course helps us oldies to ….
Wish my son would listen to it now rather than downs a life in the ego works that we live in
This really does speak to me, volumes! I would like to learn how to just “Be”, and walk through the hurts, irritations, frustrations of life as a free Being, and not get tripped up, and keep tripping over the same stuff over and over again.
Just this morning while driving to work, I was watching my mind make up problems out of nothing, and then, it started to make up all sorts of scenarios about how to fix the problems.
A friend sent this to me months ago. So yes. Seems hard…but I see. And now, I want to play. Now I can see that I will now look forward to siuations that bother me…so that i can practice letting go. …and keep getting better at it. And, that desire for annoying things…is already a step in the right direction. I’d like to know more about your seminars, DVDs…courses you offer.
Gary
What you know – what you don’t know – and how to deal with reality… so true . The past is over yes / I am working on release, letting go and really believing that I am strong and getting there … to a place of just knowing that I will and can deal with whatever comes my way. It’s an ongoing process . Thank you for the beautiful videos.
Yes and more yes I know that I am creating what’s going on in my life right now …For the last year I’ve been living in hell my sister in law she try to created A war against me every week she Gossip And manipulate my siblings … she is trying to make my family to pick teams … … so of course it took about seven months Then my family realize that she is toxic not a good person … The problem was I really try to let it go I couldn’t sleep anxiety depression I just didn’t know how to let it go … and this weekend I have a friend that did attack because I didn’t have the same belief and I wasn’t agreeing with her 😞 so I definitely need help to let things go I think the universe is trying to tell me it’s my time to grow up and be a big girl 🤗 And another thing I did read the untethered soul about 10 years ago I really try to do this process I did not master it …
Michael do you think that everybody can do it??please help … I am already 62 I definitely don’t want to live the rest of my life like this 🙏
trust your intuition IF IT DOESN’T FEEL GOOD it aint good * don’t sacrifice your heart and soul / peace and calm for any friend or family – be true to you – be your own best friend * love yourself for the beautiful spirit you are * you don’t need friends or family that rob you of your dignity and rip away the joy you deserve – the hell they are pulling you into belongs to them…. see it as a Warning Sign * KEEP OUT! ” BIG DOGS BIG TEETH 😉 time to find like minded kind souls to be your new family and friends _ stay away from the mundance – those creepy low vibrational toxic people – it’s an ongoing daytime drama series JUST SAY NEXT * change the channel ****
it’s always a good time to wake up and know you deserve kindness and love.
Sincerely and with Total comprehension and understanding Rose
I have some things in my past that I want to release and forgive myself for. In many ways I feel that I did not give my dear children the upbringing I wanted for them. It’s hard for me to let go of some of the decisions I made at that time. Now they are grown. We have a loving relationship and they are doing just fine. I’d love to learn how to release the past once and for all. I’ve been working on this for a long time.
I realized my mind wants to bring up things that have happened in the past. My mind wants to brood about them so I realized these things don’t need to bother me anymore. Instead of focusing my energy on things that have already happened, things I can’t change. I can focus on letting go of them and start focusing on the present and what I can do now to make things better. Instead of worrying about what I didn’t do back then, I can focus on doing these things now.
My fears and thoughts do impact how I react and behave. I am very hard on myself and have driven myself to depression.
I do relate to this fear is such a destroyer of being happy in the moment a nd just enjoying life
So grateful to have access to this course, can’t wait
Yes i have experienced many time when i am able to let go of situations and events that happened i feel vert much at peace and in better relationship with the situation and people. And the solutions andvanswers came after without much effort on my part…it just flow from within myself without even my expecting it. just arises from within. and i marvel at it.
Being raised in a divorced parent environment, with my mother as guardian, I witnessed the behaviors of her heartache. She was diagnosed with schizophrenia and left to raise 4 daughters.
I was in my 50’s and Mom was turning 80, going through the process of dying. Long care facility, rehab or hospice. I was reading about death and dying and assisting her in physical, financially and emotionally.
An author gave me a nugget of wisdom. He said, “If you just change the words mental illness to emotional illness.” I pondered this and I have since gained a more compassionate perspective of the person I’m trying to understand.
It has been some of the best advice I’ve ever been given. It has changed my relationship with my mom, myself and everyone. We all can have difficult moments, days, weeks, months, year sand phases of our lives. It’s not an illness. Unless it stays and is not processed. This is where it becomes a dis-ease. The underlying condition in this human is still love.
That makes having depression and anxiety sound so much better than thinking you are mentally ill, I hope this course helps me to let go and just accept I’ve had emotional illness not lost the plot.
Hope your mum is doing well
I have come to realize that my problems are of my own creation. I have learned that my attitude is what creates the chaos in my life. I am still learning the process of Letting Go. Catch myself sometimes hanging onto things. Read your book The Untethered Soul. BEAUTIFUL Book…. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and your guidance to a more peaceful soul and life. NAMASTE
Thank you for your guidance and all I have learned from you in such a short time, The Untethered Soul has shifted my life 180°
Thank you Michael for your guidance and teachings. I have enjoyed your books and this mini course immensely. Yes, i have seen how my mind stews, imagines and creates such foolish and untrue thoughts. Sometimes it seems so powerful, i cant stop it even though i know better. The mind is definitely a great gift when used correctly, and a curse when not.
I’ve noticed for some time that my suffering is from my thoughts and this suffering is occasionally triggered from my thoughts that are reactions to outside events. So I’ve reduced my exposure to news and political events to reduce these reactions.
There was a time not long ago where I got a new job. At first there was joy about landing that job but after just a day or two anxiety creeped in. There were doubts about my abilities and if this path was even right one. After sitting with it for a while I noticed that this was just an attempt to have control over an inherently unpredictable situation. By accepting the unpredictability of the situations I would face at that new workplace the anxiety left as well.
I now smile , when I recognize I just got angry. Then I am able to let go. I see myself now , I now know and recognize myself. I can disassociate anger from myself because I now understand the spiritual as well as the physiological aspects of the mind and it’s reactions.
Thank you. Listening to your presentation strengthened my experience as Centering Prayer
Practitioner. I love to learn more …..
something that my wife referred to in her past caused me strong jealousy repeatedly until I finally did the technique that Michael described and I was finally able to truly let it go. Jealousy and insecurity have been triggers for me, so having this one little bit of mastery over this particular trigger has given me hope.
Sometimes it is very hard.I usually journal and meditate
Letting go of the past and the triggers
yes i can see my mind is causing the problems,
The things that cause me anxiety – I dont hear a voice talking in my mind, I get an automatic feeling of fear. I am finally realizing, after reading The Untethered Soul and now reading The Surrender Experiment, that that automatic fear feeling to certain triggers is what I have to release. And its starting to work!!
by letting go of the past.
by letting go of my past, I can go on with my life.
Inner chatter has been bothering me my entire life, affecting my decisions and and quality of my life. Thanks to Michael I realized it doesn’t have to be that way and I see everything more clearly.
All the problems I have are in my head. I my have external situations I need to take the next right step to deal with the situation but I don’t need to make it into a problem in my head.
Although it is still a challenge to reduce my inner dialogues, especially those that lower my vibrations, at times it is quite fascinating to observe the mind. I feel I had grown a lot since I don’t resist feeling the so called “negative emotions”.It was a process of allowing it to pass through me, yet not stay within me.
Spirituality is never about getting something. It is always about getting rid of something.
WOW! Profound.
I know that if my mind was quieter I would have more solutions. Something I had worked on in the past after I lost my meditation routine more problems appeared. Since I’ve started to meditate more regularly if been more at peace. However new internal struggles have been appearing. I need to let these go, but I don’t know what they are. I’m excited to grow and move beyond them and ultimately to become a better person.
Im not very good at letting go of anything, good and bad. The good things i mourn and the bad things i punish myself with. Ive moved on but i havnt let go. I need lots of help with that.
I broke up my marriage 4 years ago, and despite of knowing it was for the best and there was no love in the relationship anymore i was suffering thinking and feeling rejected and not loved. That caused a need of being with someone at any cost, and of course, a huge mistake. I found some broken men during this process and felt even worst cause nothing worked. Now I know that i needed to let things and feelings from the past go to feel free and well. Just started this journey. Most of the times i feel good and find myself loving me enough and soemtimes not really good. Feeling the lack of someone, but in peace and with the certainty that it is normal and i need to live and grow one day at a time.
Yes I see clearly that I avoid my internal state because there are problems inside. I stay busy and focused on external to feel good. Yet despite a good day my internal state, my mind stays conflicted.